Saying Goodbye

To quote Laura, "the funny stuff goes on Facebook."

A week-and-a-half ago, I shut the door on the last nine years of my life (well, really 14 if we're counting from the time I first decided what I would study in college). And really, I'm not sure I was the one shutting the door. I was kind of like that last guest at a party--the scented candles have all been blown out, the food has been wrapped up and put away, the host has begun yawning and talking about the early morning he has tomorrow, yet I stand just far enough from the doorway, about to launch my third retelling of that time the bird attacked my head at Cafe Express to anyone who is still standing around to listen. Finally, the host has no choice but to usher me out the door and to close it graciously but firmly behind me. I walk to my car wondering how I could have overstayed my welcome and hoping that some day, someone will invite me to another party.

I don't even know what to think or what to say when I look back on my teaching career. Sure, I know there were students whose lives I touched, and I may have even helped one young mind or two know how to avoid the dreaded comma splice, but I also see a lot of things I could have done better. I didn't make major mistakes, but there were small mistakes that made me miserable and, ultimately, made it just a little easier to decide who could be "cut out" when the budget wasn't where it needed to be.

Yes, I know it was time for me to leave. I know (as my sweet, well-meaning friends and family keep telling me) that God has a purpose in this and that He is going to give me a great, new opportunity. But that doesn't make this ending hurt any less. I am scared, and I have never felt more alone. (Disclaimer: I have wonderful friends and family who are loving me and supporting me through this, but, ultimately, this is a road that I have to walk with just the Lord.)

I know (as He has done so many times before) God has again called on me to trust Him, and I pray that I can prove myself worthy of that calling.

More from the files of "I can't post on Facebook"

One of my former students (an artist) had this status today:
"For the life of me, I can't draw men. :'("

The response I wanted to post:
"Me too, sweetie, me too."

I think we might be talking about different things...

The Inappropriately-Placed Quotation Marks Continue

The following is a transcript of a "Happy Birthday" text message I received from my father this morning:

"Happy Birthday, Baby! Wishing you 'blessing and much love' on your 'special day...' (Insert random update about all the snow and ice here)...Have a 'great day'! Love you so much!"

I am thankful for the sentiment, but I can't help but search for a hidden meaning.

Reason #453 Being Single Sucks

When you stop by the grocery store to pick up a few things after a dinner out, there is no one to watch your groceries for you when you discover, in the middle of Randall's, that you REALLY have to go to the bathroom.

You are left with two options:
1. Leave your groceries, go take care of your business, and start the shopping over.
2. Tell yourself, "I'll be home soon," continue shopping, and hope that the other customers don't notice that the pacing you're doing whilst you ponder yogurt and coffee creamer selections is really a "subtle" rendition of "The Pee Pee Dance."

Guess which one I chose. (Fortunately, all potential crises were averted.)

Ooh...I like that better...

I had my kids doing a pre-writing activity about gifts today. I was trying to get them to think about gifts in wider terms than the typical PS3, iPod, puppy, Justin Bieber doll (yes, that was a real response I got), etc. I gave them the example of how I consider my car getting totaled this time last year a gift (my old car was falling apart...I was pouring way too much money into it...the wreck forced me to get a newer, better car...yada, yada, yada...).

In one of my classes, I got as far in my story as "so when my car was hit" when one of my kids finished my sentence with "you met this guy."

From now on, he gets to write the endings to all of my stories.