Things I did NOT expect to hear at work today

From one co-worker whose birthday we were celebrating at lunch:
"My real birthday was in January, but I wanted to wait to celebrate until after I'd finished my colon cleanse."

From another co-worker who was grading essays:
"Oh my gosh!! I just drew a penis on this girl's paper!"

I love a man in uniform...

Visions of...ummm....

Sights seen tonight while walking at Memorial:

1. A man walking a dog. And carrying a parrot.

2. A man in VERY short denim cutoffs, no shirt, sporting a tramp stamp.