Merriment, Mischief, and Musings

Saying Goodbye

2011-06-15T09:36:00.000-07:00

To quote Laura, "the funny stuff goes on Facebook."

A week-and-a-half ago, I shut the door on the last nine years of my life (well, really 14 if we're counting from the time I first decided what I would study in college). And really, I'm not sure I was the one shutting the door. I was kind of like that last guest at a party--the scented candles have all been blown out, the food has been wrapped up and put away, the host has begun yawning and talking about the early morning he has tomorrow, yet I stand just far enough from the doorway, about to launch my third retelling of that time the bird attacked my head at Cafe Express to anyone who is still standing around to listen. Finally, the host has no choice but to usher me out the door and to close it graciously but firmly behind me. I walk to my car wondering how I could have overstayed my welcome and hoping that some day, someone will invite me to another party.

I don't even know what to think or what to say when I look back on my teaching career. Sure, I know there were students whose lives I touched, and I may have even helped one young mind or two know how to avoid the dreaded comma splice, but I also see a lot of things I could have done better. I didn't make major mistakes, but there were small mistakes that made me miserable and, ultimately, made it just a little easier to decide who could be "cut out" when the budget wasn't where it needed to be.

Yes, I know it was time for me to leave. I know (as my sweet, well-meaning friends and family keep telling me) that God has a purpose in this and that He is going to give me a great, new opportunity. But that doesn't make this ending hurt any less. I am scared, and I have never felt more alone. (Disclaimer: I have wonderful friends and family who are loving me and supporting me through this, but, ultimately, this is a road that I have to walk with just the Lord.)

I know (as He has done so many times before) God has again called on me to trust Him, and I pray that I can prove myself worthy of that calling.

More from the files of "I can't post on Facebook"

2011-05-07T23:42:00.000-07:00

One of my former students (an artist) had this status today:
"For the life of me, I can't draw men. :'("

The response I wanted to post:
"Me too, sweetie, me too."

I think we might be talking about different things...

The Inappropriately-Placed Quotation Marks Continue

2011-02-01T10:17:00.000-08:00

The following is a transcript of a "Happy Birthday" text message I received from my father this morning:

"Happy Birthday, Baby! Wishing you 'blessing and much love' on your 'special day...' (Insert random update about all the snow and ice here)...Have a 'great day'! Love you so much!"

I am thankful for the sentiment, but I can't help but search for a hidden meaning.

Reason #453 Being Single Sucks

2011-01-25T18:48:00.001-08:00

When you stop by the grocery store to pick up a few things after a dinner out, there is no one to watch your groceries for you when you discover, in the middle of Randall's, that you REALLY have to go to the bathroom.

You are left with two options:
1. Leave your groceries, go take care of your business, and start the shopping over.
2. Tell yourself, "I'll be home soon," continue shopping, and hope that the other customers don't notice that the pacing you're doing whilst you ponder yogurt and coffee creamer selections is really a "subtle" rendition of "The Pee Pee Dance."

Guess which one I chose. (Fortunately, all potential crises were averted.)

Ooh...I like that better...

2011-01-10T20:02:00.001-08:00

I had my kids doing a pre-writing activity about gifts today. I was trying to get them to think about gifts in wider terms than the typical PS3, iPod, puppy, Justin Bieber doll (yes, that was a real response I got), etc. I gave them the example of how I consider my car getting totaled this time last year a gift (my old car was falling apart...I was pouring way too much money into it...the wreck forced me to get a newer, better car...yada, yada, yada...).

In one of my classes, I got as far in my story as "so when my car was hit" when one of my kids finished my sentence with "you met this guy."

From now on, he gets to write the endings to all of my stories.

Be careful, little fingers, what you type!

2010-12-20T10:29:00.000-08:00

This is a Facebook exchange that popped up on a friend's news feed today. The conversation surrounds a "save the date" card.

"I just wanted to let you know I was so excited to get my very first piece of mail at the new house this weekend and have it not be a bill or junk mail but your beautiful STD! You made my day! I'm sorry you're still waiting to get cleared for work, but "consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds..." and look at it as an opportunity to strengthen your patience and your trust in Him. I'll be praying for you, and I hope you have a good day despite the frustrations."

"Thanks, I appreciate the encouragement, and I am glad you got the STD!"

Thankful, Part 5

2010-11-27T22:30:00.000-08:00

The Qba Edition.

I took my first trip to Qba in March 2009, but I did not know then just how this trip would change my life. I have been on several of these kinds of trips in the past, and each one has been a really good experience, but I have never had one of these trips stay with me the way that my trip to Qba did.

I had never seen faith in action the way that I did that week that I was there. Their ministry faces tremendous opposition from the government, but they know what God has called them to do, so they persevere, and when they meet a setback, instead of despairing, they have faith that God has something even bigger and better for them. And God has blessed their faithfulness--they are literally changing their country for Christ.

When I came back from that first trip, I knew that I wanted faith like theirs. I even prayed that if God had to bring opposition into my life in order for me to have that faith, that He would bring it. Be careful what you pray for. :P I didn't know at the time that the next year and a half of my life would be a constant test of my faith. There were so many times that I cried out to God during this time wondering where He was and why He had abandoned me. I was completely overwhelmed by my fears and my insecurities; there were times that I even doubted God's love for me, and I certainly didn't think that He could use a mess like me.

I have been back to Qba two times since that first trip, and on my most recent trip, in the summer, God brought tremendous healing to my heart. I went back to my brothers and sisters completely broken. I felt that my faith had been tested and that I had failed. I had let God down. What I love about the Qbans is that they are so relational. There was a point on the trip that I was able to share with some of them what had been going on in my life over the last year, and it was so sweet to be able to receive their love and encouragement and to hear what God had been teaching them as well. Then, in a later conversation, one of my sweet brothers spoke some very kind words to me. He told me the gifts He could see that God had given me, and He told me that God could use and that He wanted to use those things in me. He challenged me to not waste the gifts and abilities that God had placed in my life. The words that he spoke to me were not things my friends hadn't been saying to me for months and months, but this was the first time I really believed them. For one, the words came from a man, and for women, there's just something different about encouragement that comes from a man. I think it was also good that the words came from someone who is not involved in my everyday life, someone who, aside from a couple of e-mails here and there, hadn't had contact with me for a year. And yet, he could still see these things in me.

For the rest of the time I was there, several people made comments about how much I smiled and would ask me why I was smiling so much. It was because for the first time in a long time, I was genuinely happy.

When I came back from my second trip to Qba (Summer 2009), I was frustrated with God. I couldn't understand why I was here when I only wanted to be there with them. But this time was different. I understood that, while I missed my precious brothers and sisters terribly, God has me here, and since then, I have been trying to translate the things He taught me in Qba to my life here.

It hasn't always been easy, and there are times that I still doubt, but I feel like I can finally have hope again. I am not entirely sure just what it is that God wants to do with me, but I can finally believe that He DOES love me and that He DOES want to do something with me.

Thankful, Part 4

2010-11-26T06:45:00.000-08:00

I am thankful for a family who loves me very much.

Since I moved away from home, my life has mostly revolved around my friends and "family" that I have established in Houston, and I tend to take my actual family for granted. However, sometimes it just takes a trip home to remind me how blessed I really am.

These are some of the many things I love about my family:
1. Grandparents who have a heart for missions and who have always encouraged me and supported me in any mission trip I have gone on
2. Parents who are unfailingly generous
3. A mom who is always willing to listen--I don't always want to talk to her about what is going on, but I know she will be there when I need her
4. A dad whose overprotective tendencies drive me crazy but that I know I would miss if they weren't there
5. A brother who shares and understands my sense of humor even when others in the family don't
6. A sister-in-law who makes efforts to make me feel like I am a part of her family
7. I love that my dad is still willing to play games with me when I come home even though I neither win nor lose graciously most of the time.
8. I love that they encourage me, both through words and example, to continually seek the Lord and remain steady in my faith even when things are difficult.
9. Examples of strong, Godly women (mom, grandma, aunts, cousins...)
10. Thanksgiving especially reminds me how thankful I am that I come from a long line of excellent cooks and bakers who have passed on at least some of that skill to me.

Thankful, Part 3

2010-11-24T09:59:00.000-08:00

I'm thankful for my new job.

Without going into too much detail, last year was probably the hardest of all my years of teaching. I was not at my best, and I was either in tears or close to it every day on my way to work. God knew that I didn't need to be at that school any longer, but He also knew that I'm stubborn. He had to completely pull the rug out from underneath me in order to give me the courage to change.

Toward the end of the year, I asked to be transferred to a different school in the district and ended up teaching 7th-Grade ELA at a middle school this year. Teaching middle school has not been without its challenges, but I'm making more of an effort to meet those challenges head on rather than hiding from them or pretending they don't exist as had become my habit at my old school. Seventh-graders are squirrely and silly and have almost no filters, but there is something about them that makes me smile every day.

I'm excited (and, honestly, a little scared as well) to see just how God is going to continue to grow me this year.

Thankful, Part 2

2010-11-23T16:57:00.001-08:00

I was going to include these girls in my previous post but then decided to give them a post of their own. I am unbelievably thankful for the small group Bible studies I have been able to be a part of over the last year.

My old small group. I started meeting with these girls in the Spring of 2009 and stayed with them for a year-and-a-half. I had been in several small groups before this one but never experienced the depth that I did with these ladies. Every week, they challenged me to go deeper in my walk with the Lord. They also taught me about accountability (even when I was a stubborn student). I had prayed for accountability for a long time, and all I can say is, "Be careful what you pray for." These girls would not allow me to settle for being anything less than what God has called me to be.

My new small group. As I said in my previous post, the last year was really difficult, and as a result, I pulled away from all but a very small group of friends. Over the last few months, God has brought considerable healing to my heart, and He showed me that He has given me the ability to love and to encourage others and that squandering that ability would be disobedient. I realized that God was calling me to leave my old small group in order to begin a new one and start investing in other girls in the class. What a blessing He gave me with the girls He placed in my small group! I have so enjoyed getting to know these girls better over the last few months. I know that God brought us all together at the right time, and it has been such a privilege to be a part of their lives. I am excited to see what God will continue to do in each of our hearts.

Thankful, Part 1

2010-11-23T15:51:00.001-08:00

(I meant to start this yesterday and have posts every day this week, so I'll just play catch up today.)

When I start making a list of all the things I am thankful for, one of the first places my mind always goes is to my amazing girlfriends. Throughout my life, God has been so faithful to provide incredible women that I have been able to share my life with, and I want to take a little time to spotlight some of them.

My Sidus Sisterhood. This is just a random sampling of my college girls. These were the first girls that really made me feel like I was part of a group. What I love so much about them is that even after eight years, we can still get together today, and it's like no time has passed. I laugh longer, louder, and harder with these girls than I do with anyone else.

My GGs. This was my first real group of girlfriends in Houston. It was hard coming from the close friends I had in college to a place where I didn't really know anyone, and for a while I kind of jumped from one group of friends to another. These girls were the first to give me the sense that I truly had a place where I belonged. They were the first ones to love even the unlovable parts of me while still encouraging and challenging me to grow in my walk with the Lord.

My Crew. The last year or so has been one of the most difficult times of my life, and these girls have walked every step of it with me. They have shown me unconditional love even when I felt I was completely unlovable; they have encouraged me when I needed to be lifted up; they have spoken difficult Truth when I needed a good butt-kicking; and they have laughed, rejoiced, and cried with me. I know that when I am with them, I can be completely real, without pretense.

My Paradigm girls. These ladies have been such an encouragement to me. It has been such a blessing to sit back and watch the way that God has moved in each one of their lives. I have been challenged in my faith by watching the way each one of them pursues her walk with the Lord.

It is amazing to me how God brings just the right people into my life at the exact time that I need them. I am so blessed to have each one of these girls in my life.

This made my day

2010-11-23T10:26:00.000-08:00

The picture is a little hard to see (stupid old camera flip phone!), but I wanted to share my little joy for the day. I really like the kind words ("Ms. Ruddell is the BOMB!," "I'm thankful for Ms. Ruddell," and "I <3 Ms. Ruddell"), but I think my favorite part is the commentary at the bottom on the turkey's ultimate demise.

SMH (the one example of "text-speak" I can actually get behind)

2010-11-18T14:31:00.000-08:00

From the middle school files this week:

I was asked by a student if it was racist to say "Chinese food."

My students are currently working on propaganda projects. The following is an exchange I had with a student on one of their work days:
Student: Ms. Ruddell, what's Nike's slogan?
Me: Just do it.
Student: No, I need to know what Nike's slogan is.
Me: Just do it.
Student: No, I need you to tell me what Nike's slogan is.
Me: Are you messing with me?
Student: No. What's Nike's slogan?
(AARRRGGHHHH!!!)

We got an e-mail from our librarian today saying that she has chocolate bars for sale to benefit a club at another middle school in the district. The club sponsoring the fundraiser? The Health Club, of course.

On my desk, I have a small replica of The Colosseum that one of my students brought me back from Rome several years ago. A student picked it up and looked at it and said, "Is this supposed to be a waffle cone?"

(I can hardly wait to see what Friday brings.)

Awesome-ness

2010-11-17T21:10:00.000-08:00

Backin' Up

2010-09-28T15:52:00.000-07:00

Watch this one first:

And now the remix:

Anyone?

2010-09-26T09:05:00.000-07:00

I went to Dallas this weekend for my great aunt's funeral. It was a time of sadness, but even more, it was a time of celebration over a life well-lived for the Lord.

After the funeral, our family went back to my cousin's house to spend a little more time together before everyone left. We were sitting on the back porch lamenting the fact that the only time we ever seem to see each other is at weddings and funerals (and over the last few years, it's been mostly funerals).

I told my family that I would make the ultimate sacrifice--I would have a wedding so that they have another excuse to get together.

Now I just need to find the groom...

Any takers? You would be doing my family a great service.

Know your audience

2010-09-14T18:43:00.000-07:00

Rejected Facebook retort of the day:

"When you are 24 years old, married, and incredibly pregnant, perhaps it is best not to imply to your 30-year-old, incredibly single friend that she doesn't know what it's like to experience what appears to be a very long, drawn out period of time."

*Disclaimer: This is spoken mostly tongue-in-cheek. Mostly.

A missed opportunity?

2010-09-11T19:23:00.000-07:00

I felt the need for some prayer time this evening, and I was distracted at home, so I grabbed my journal, a bottle of water, and a blanket and headed to Hermann Park. I undertook this same endeavor last Saturday as well, but I was interrupted by the visit of a rather large rat. However, ever the optimist, I decided to give the park another chance.

I was feeling rather lonely today, so I was praying for someone who would sit with me, hold me, and talk with me (guess what my love languages are). About that time, through my sniffles, I heard a voice asking me if I wanted some company. I soon learned the voice belonged to a bearded man who told me he was "wandering through the park--I mean, I have a home and a job--but I was walking through the park..." After a brief conversation, I politely declined his offer, and he left. I packed up my stuff and left shortly thereafter.

I know God's ways are higher than mine, but surely He wouldn't choose to answer my prayer with a wandering stranger, in the dark, when there were no witnesses in close proximity.

Middle School--where everything's a big deal

2010-09-03T15:01:00.000-07:00

I watched a student almost slip into a panic attack today because he thought the fact that I counted him tardy to my class was going to keep him out of Harvard.

Gotta love the 7th-grade drama...

Love me some Jon Acuff

2010-09-01T11:02:00.000-07:00

http://stuffchristianslike.net/2010/09/the-question-we-all-ask/

I've heard sex sells, but really...???

2010-08-31T19:22:00.000-07:00

Spotted along Highway 59:

A billboard that says merely "Still a Virgin?" and gives a number you can call "for help."

Wow...just...wow...

*UPDATE: Apparently the billboard is just a publicity stunt for a new Will Ferrell movie, but I don't think that makes it any less disturbing.

Either the greatest or the most annoying commercial ever

2010-08-26T16:33:00.000-07:00

I'm going down to Cuba to see my friends...

2010-07-23T12:32:00.000-07:00

Disobeying Shame

2010-07-21T10:12:00.000-07:00

http://stuffchristianslike.net/2010/07/3388/

For everyone on my Christmas list

2010-07-09T08:29:00.001-07:00

And one more...

2010-06-14T13:05:00.001-07:00

So wrong.

Swagger

2010-06-14T11:00:00.000-07:00

Awesome.

The Silence of God

2010-06-08T13:51:00.001-07:00

I heard this song for the first time a few years ago (and even bought the CD specifically for this song), but I had forgotten about it until a friend posted some lyrics from it on Facebook recently. I pulled it out and listened to it yesterday and could barely read the lyrics on the liner notes through my tears.

For the last several months, God has been taking me through a season of brokenness. He has been stripping away a lot of the things that I had built the foundation of my life on. I know that this has been a necessary process, but it has been very painful, and so many times I find myself crying out to the Lord and, according to my very limited view of God, receiving no answer in return. I love the last verse of the song that talks about how Jesus also had to experience God's silence, and I am reminded once again that I have a Savior that is well-acquainted with my grief. I also love the refrain at the end that reminds me even though there will be residual aching from the refining that God is doing in my life, the breaking will not last forever and there is hope on the other side.

It's enough to drive a man crazy; it'll break a man's faith
It's enough to make him wonder if he's ever been sane
When he's bleating for comfort from Thy staff and Thy rod
And the heaven's only answer is the silence of God

It'll shake a man's timbers when he loses his heart
When he has to remember what broke him apart
This yoke may be easy, but this burden is not
When the crying fields are frozen by the silence of God

And if a man has got to listen to the voices of the mob
Who are reeling in the throes of all the happiness they've got
When they tell you all their troubles have been nailed up to that cross
Then what about the times when even followers get lost?
'Cause we all get lost sometimes...

There's a statue of Jesus on a monastery knoll
In the hills of Kentucky, all quiet and cold
And He's kneeling in the garden, as silent as a Stone
All His friends are sleeping and He's weeping all alone

And the man of all sorrows, he never forgot
What sorrow is carried by the hearts that he bought
So when the questions dissolve into the silence of God
The aching may remain, but the breaking does not
The aching may remain, but the breaking does not
In the holy, lonesome echo of the silence of God

Things I did NOT expect to hear at work today

2010-05-11T15:57:00.000-07:00

From one co-worker whose birthday we were celebrating at lunch:
"My real birthday was in January, but I wanted to wait to celebrate until after I'd finished my colon cleanse."

From another co-worker who was grading essays:
"Oh my gosh!! I just drew a penis on this girl's paper!"

I love a man in uniform...

2010-05-10T19:51:00.000-07:00

Visions of...ummm....

2010-05-05T21:00:00.000-07:00

Sights seen tonight while walking at Memorial:

1. A man walking a dog. And carrying a parrot.

2. A man in VERY short denim cutoffs, no shirt, sporting a tramp stamp.

One Word (totally ripped off from LJ's blog)

2010-04-21T08:21:00.000-07:00

The challenge? Answer each question with just one word.

1. Where is your cell phone? purse
2. Your significant other? unknown
3. Your hair? pretty
4. Your mother? encouraging
5. Your father? doting
6. Your favorite? smiling
7. Your dream last night? forgotten
8. Your favorite drink? wine
9. Your dream/goal? family
10. What room you are in? classroom
11. Your hobby? baking
12. Your fear? alone
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? joyful
14. Where were you last night? home
15. Something that you are not? housekeeper
16. Muffins? pumpkin
17. Wish list item? fulfillment
18. Where you grew up? Denison
19. Last thing you did? eighteen
20. What are you wearing? heels
21. Your TV? off
22. Your pets? bark-y
23. Friends? lifeline
24. Your life? emotional
25. Your mood? frazzled
26. Missing someone? Who?
27. Car? improvement
28. Something you're not wearing? grill
29. Your favorite store? Target
30. Your favorite color? red
33. When is the last time you laughed? today
34. Last time you cried? Monday
35. One place that I go to over and over? work
36. One person who texts me regularly? LL
37. My favorite place to eat? Chuy's
38. My favorite food? avocado

Painting Pictures

2010-04-12T22:51:00.000-07:00

"Painting Pictures of Egypt" by Sara Groves
I don’t want to leave here
I don’t want to stay
It feels like pinching to me
Either way
And the places I long for the most
Are the places where I’ve been
They are calling out to me
Like a long lost friend

It’s not about losing faith
It’s not about trust
It’s all about comfortable
When you move so much
And the place I was wasn’t perfect
But I had found a way to live
And it wasn’t milk or honey
But then neither is this

I've been painting pictures of Egypt,
Leaving out what it lacks
The future feels so hard,
And I wanna go back!
But the places that used to fit me,
Cannot hold the things I've learned
Those roads were closed off to me
While my back was turned!

The past is so tangible
I know it by heart
Familiar things are never easy
To discard
I was dying for some freedom
But now I hesitate to go
I am caught between the Promise
And the things I know

I've been painting pictures of Egypt,
Leaving out what it lacks
The future feels so hard,
And I wanna go back!
But the places that used to fit me,
Cannot hold the things I've learned
Those roads were closed off to me
While my back was turned!

If it comes too quick
I may not appreciate it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
And if it comes too quick
I may not recognize it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?

#512. Thinking you

2010-03-27T06:40:00.001-07:00

A dear friend shared this with me the other day, and I keep reading it over and over. It's definitely encouragement I needed, and I hope it encourages you as well.

#512. Thinking you’re naked.

Posted using ShareThis

The Day's Observations (thus far...)

2010-03-11T09:35:00.000-08:00

ONE
Girl Scout cookies taste that much sweeter when confiscated from (and perhaps consumed in front of) a "sneaky" student.

TWO
There is a lot of fake hair that makes its way in and out of my classroom.

THREE
I'm thinking that when the air conditioner cuts on and the whole hallway smells of burning plastic, something is amiss.

This reminds me of some "advice" I got recently

2010-02-10T19:09:00.000-08:00

My Life in Facebook Statuses (a preview)

2010-02-02T20:26:00.000-08:00



Click on the picture to enlarge.

This one's for you, Laura.

2010-01-10T08:35:00.000-08:00

So cool!

2010-01-08T15:44:00.001-08:00

Longing for home

2009-11-18T17:41:00.000-08:00

"And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." And he who was seated on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new." Also he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true." And he said to me, "It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment. The one who conquers will have this heritage, and I will be his God and he will be my son."

Revelation 21:3-7

This is our future

2009-11-17T12:54:00.000-08:00

I was grading a student's quiz the other day and came across a question that he did not know the answer to. Instead of leaving the question blank, he wrote (and keep in mind that this is a high-school sophomore) "fart fart poop."

This is a representative sample of who (or what) will one day be running our country.

Jesus, please come soon.

Good advice

2009-11-15T07:25:00.000-08:00

I had to say something to a student this week that I never thought I would have to say (and, quite honestly, hoped I never would). I looked this teenage boy in the eye and said...

"Don't touch me until you pull up your pants."

As what seems to be the theme for me lately, it's not as shady as it sounds. He was wearing three pairs of pants so he could sag (somebody please stop this ridiculous fashion trend!), and he decided he wanted to take the outermost pair off. He had only gotten as far as getting them down around his ankles when he walked over to give me a hug.

I told this story to a friend, and she suggested that what I said to this boy is really a good motto for life.

Gentlemen, kindly do not touch us until you pull up your pants.

Guilty conscience?

2009-10-29T16:44:00.000-07:00

And now, my dear 3.72 readers, I bring you today's morsel of sheer entertainment...

The fire marshal was at our school today doing inspections. One of my juvenile delinquent babies was in the bathroom when the fire marshal and his assistant came into my room. My favorite moment of the day was watching the horrified look come across the kid's face when he walked back into my room and saw the two men in uniform standing there.

Does this make me a bad person?

Yeah, that sounds about right.

2009-10-25T08:33:00.001-07:00

A Bold Declaration

2009-10-20T15:18:00.000-07:00

Words I actually uttered to a friend today:

"From now on, no one is barred from my bedroom."

(Don't worry--it's not nearly as sketchy as it appears to be.)

The response you're looking for is, "Okay."

2009-10-19T20:58:00.000-07:00

I met a friend up at the church tonight to get some work done away from all technological distractions. While I was waiting on her to arrive, I decided to get a drink from the coffee and assorted hot beverages machine. I was intrigued by the Chai Mocha, so I decided to give it a try. The conversation I had with my friend about the Chai Mocha is as follows:

Me: "I decided to try a Chai Mocha. I'm not sure I like it. I like chai, and I like mocha..."
Friend: "But just not together."
Me: "Yeah, I think the two flavors just cancel each other out, so all I'm getting is sweet and hot."
Friend: "Sweet and hot? That sounds like an ass."

Guilty

2009-09-07T17:57:00.000-07:00

Who else can relate to this?

Awakening

2009-08-22T11:38:00.001-07:00

Dress down your pretty faith. Give me something real.
Leave out the thee and thou and speak to me now.
Speak to my pain and confusion.
Speak through my fears and my pride.
Speak to the part of me that knows I'm something deep down inside.

I know that I am not perfect, but compare me to most,
In a world of hurt and a world of anger I think I'm holding my own.
And I know that you said there is more to life.
And I know I am not satisfied.
But there are mornings I wake up and I'm just thankful to be alive.

I've known now, for quite a while, that I am not whole.
I've remembered the body and the mind,
But dissected my soul.
Now something inside is awakening,
Like a dream I once had and forgot.
And it's something I'm scared of
And something I don't want to stop.

And I woke up this morning and realized that Jesus is not a portait.
Where stained glass windows or hymns or the tradition that surrounds us.
And I thought it would be hard to believe in
But it's not hard at all.
To believe I've sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God.

And He's not asking me to change in my joy for martyrdom
He's asking to take my place.
To stand in the gap that I have formed
With His real, and His sweet, and His real amazing grace.
And it's not just a sign or a sacrament.
It's not just a metaphor for love.
The blood is real and it's not just a sybol of your faith.

So leave out the thee and thou and speak now.

-Sara Groves

Assorted thoughts from inservice...

2009-08-17T19:50:00.000-07:00

As I was trying to occupy my brain during a not-so-interesting inservice today, my (very weak) poetic side emerged. Clearly, I had a one-track mind this morning.

Two haikus:

My coffee is gone.
Brown joy-bringer of the morn.
My heart slightly dies.

Bladder slowly fills.
My coffee running through me.
Ten-o'-clock come soon!

And this next poem was actually part of the inservice. We were given a poem to read and then instructed to write an original poem modeled after the one that we read.

Women Who Love Coffee: an Ode to Stalk the 'Stros '09

They are quiet and foggy in the morning
until the hot, brown liquid
first touches their lips.
They smile politely
in the presence of their
bright-eyed and bushy-tailed friends
but remain monosyllabic
as if to say, "I'm gonna need a little while."
Starbucks makes
their hearts leap for joy.
When they first sip, it's glorious.
Their spirits warm as the creamy, dark elixir
seeps through their bodies,
and they are once again ready to
mess some...stuff...up.

A Teaser...

2009-08-11T12:06:00.000-07:00

It's been a crazy summer filled with many adventures that, alas, left little time for blogging. I hope to share stories of my summer fun soon, but until then, here's a small sampling from "Stalk the 'Stros '09" to tide you over.

On the last day of our trip, we were inside a Starbucks in St. Louis trying to escape the rain while waiting for time to leave for the airport. I got up with the intention of mailing a letter only to return a few seconds later to tell my traveling companions, "Girls, I have a bit of a problem."

This is what I had to show them:

Notice anything amiss?

*And yes, that is a Dumbledore's Army t-shirt I'm wearing. I am a BIG winner.

On My Wish List

2009-06-26T12:38:00.000-07:00

Thank you, Facebook ads, for bringing this to my attention. I always wanted to be the token white Huxtable kid.

Work in Progress

2009-06-22T20:37:00.000-07:00

I promised in my last blog entry that I would elaborate on the random drink offer.

A couple of weeks ago, a good friend of mine was in town for some job interviews (incidentally, she got a job and IS MOVING BACK!! YAY!!), so she and I spent our Friday night the way any good Texan should. After we had our fill of Pappasito's queso and beef fajitas (a.k.a. "manna from Heaven"), we headed over to a local bar to have a couple of drinks and hear some live music.

We had been sitting there for a while enjoying the band and the people-watching when an obviously intoxicated woman came over and asked us if we were using our extra chair. Thinking she would take the chair and move it over to sit with her friends, we told her no. She then proceeded to sit down at our table, and she began talking to us. She discovered that she and my friend share the same middle name ("I'm 40 f-ing years old, and I've never met anyone else with that name!"), and that was it--we were friends for life. And just when we thought she couldn't get any more excited, she found out we were teachers. Wouldn't you know it--her stepmom was a teacher, and she loves her stepmom ("I just laugh my ass off when I'm with her!").

Our new friend became concerned that I was not drinking. I assured her that I had already had a couple of drinks but was done for the night. She insisted that I let her buy me a drink "in honor of [her] stepmom." Generally not being one to pass up a free drink, I relented and drank a vodka and cranberry in honor of a funny stepmom who used to teach. Before the night was over, we had danced with our new friend and her group of friends, chatted with and refused additional drink offers from her significant other (who assured me that teachers have his full support), and acquired a fun story to tell.

What I learned from this night was that I do possess some of the "Hey, wanna buy me a drink?" skills, but they clearly need a little redirection.

Is anyone still there?

2009-06-15T06:54:00.000-07:00

I've apparently been on a blog hiatus for a little while. The end of the school year is always crazy, but this year had a few special surprises that made it even more difficult. And so, because I'm sure you've wondered what I've been up to over the last three-and-a-half weeks, to quote Inigo Montoya, "Let me 'splain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up."

Since you last heard from me, I (in no particular order)...

have prayed with friends.
have laughed with friends.
have cried with friends.
ran with Tim the marathoner.
have lamented the world's problems.
solved a few of them.
had students make me cry in a bad way.
had students make me cry in a good way.
used my iron for maybe the 5th time in the almost 7 years I have owned it.
sweated in some strange places.
went to two Astros games.
embraced my inner Charlie's Angel.
FINISHED THE SCHOOL YEAR!
watched my babies graduate.
helped change a guy's world view--Yes, we DO think about it.
visited with a long-lost friend.
had a random drunk 40-year-old woman buy me a drink (more on this in another post).
have been discouraged.
have been encouraged.
enjoyed lots of random texting.
received and gave lots of hugs (There are few things better, in my opinion).
did not succumb to Target shoe lust.
decided to go back to Qba (more on this later, too).

Hopefully there's still someone around to read this, and hopefully it won't be another three weeks before you hear from me again.

Is it June 4th yet?!

2009-05-20T07:38:00.000-07:00

I'm having one of those days where I can either choose to laugh or cry.

I choose laughter (even if it does get me some funny looks).

Earworms

2009-05-19T09:12:00.001-07:00

Don't you hate it when you get random songs stuck in your head? And, of course, the songs that are the most annoying are the ones that just won't go away. For example, for at least three of my four years in college, I had "Hail to the Chief" bouncing around in my brain.

Some days the songs are more random than others.

I started my day with the line, "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife," moved to, "Ha-ha-ha! Ho-ho-ho! And a couple of tra-la-las! That's how we laugh the day away in the Merry Old Land of Oz," had a brief fling with "Fantine's Death" from Les Miserables and have now returned to the Emerald City.

And now, I bet you're singing at least one of these songs, too. Misery does love company, after all.

TMI

2009-05-13T11:51:00.000-07:00

I hope you won't think me vain if I tell you this, but I looked pretty darned cute today. My hair was straight, and I was even wearing a skirt. As you may have gathered from a previous post, my students don't get to see this side of me very often. And another rarity here lately--I was actually in an especially good mood today. I don't have any particular reason--perhaps it was because the number of research papers hanging over my head significantly dwindled with my productive day off yesterday; perhaps it was because I was excited (and rightfully so) about Walking Wednesday; perhaps it was because God has convicted me about my attitude at work, and I have been making a concerted effort to not be negative. At any rate, it was a good day.

However, any time my students see me looking a little nicer than normal or see that I'm in a better mood than usual, they are rather free with their comments.

The first 10 minutes of my 4th period class went something like this:
Student: "Ms. Ruddell, you look really nice today."
Me: Thank you.
Student: And you're in a good mood--you have a date tonight, don't you?
Me: No.
Student: Come on, you can tell me--you have a date, don't you.
Me: No.
Student: Ms. Ruddell, I know you have a date even though you won't tell me. It's the only explanation. Or did you have a date last night? Is that why you're so happy today?
Me: No.
Student: Okay, even though you won't tell me, I know you must have had a date.

I think I finally said that my good mood was because I had made a lot of progress in grading research papers and because Jesus loves me, but the kicker was when I told him that the reason I was wearing a skirt was because I actually shaved my legs yesterday.

I may have over-shared, but at least it shut him up.

Not My Home

2009-05-11T11:48:00.000-07:00

Proverbs 4:23-27

"Keep your heart with all vigilance,
for from it flow the springs of life.
Put away from you crooked speech,
and put devious talk far from you.
Let your eyes look directly forward,
and your gaze be straight before you.
Ponder the path of your feet;
then all your ways will be sure.
Do not swerve to the right or to the left;
turn your foot away from evil."

Random Acts

2009-05-08T10:00:00.000-07:00

So, I'm going to be a little vulnerable. I've been really discouraged about work here lately. When I am there, it seems like I face one petty frustration after another, and it is starting to get to me. I know that I am mostly to blame for my frustration--I am so overcommitted that I have begun to neglect my work, and I know that I am not giving my best when I show up to my school each day. When I feel like I am scrambling to stay just a half step ahead of my students, I have very little patience to deal with typical freshman immaturity. I just feel like I'm not having much of an impact.

I know that the Lord has placed me in this job and wants me to serve Him here, but more often than not my light does not shine very brightly for Him. I have been praying that God would change my attitude, but it is so easy to become mired in all the little irritations each day brings.

I was feeling especially discouraged on my way to work this morning (I was actually almost envious of my teacher friend who is on bedrest from a back injury because she at least doesn't have to go to work!) and was praying that God would bring me some encouragement and maybe even a hug. I had been at school for about ten minutes when one of my students walked into my room and said that he had something for me. He pulled out a gift with a card from him and his mom thanking me for all that I had done for him. And he even gave me a hug before he left.

It's amazing how God knows just what we need when we need it and is so faithful to provide!

Sage Advice

2009-05-05T13:21:00.000-07:00

I went on a Sunday School class retreat this last weekend. At one point during the weekend, a guy and I separated ourselves from the group. Very soon after, another attendee of the retreat came over and told me it was very dangerous. Hmmmm....

(Footnote: I can't take credit for this post--I totally ripped it off the afforementioned guy.)

LOL!!

2009-05-05T13:20:00.000-07:00

A kid in my TAKS testing room showed up yesterday wearing a World War II gas mask. No swine flu for him!!

Embracing the Nerdy

2009-04-23T20:28:00.000-07:00

As a self-respecting English teacher, I would be remiss if I let Shakespeare's birthday pass unheralded. So, in tribute to the Bard, on this anniversary of his birth [and his death as well, but that's neither here nor there (a phrase coined by our dear Will himself)], I offer you a list, from A to Z, of words first recorded by Shakespeare.

Advertising
Bandit
Critic
Dickens
Epileptic
Film
Gossip
Hush
Investment
Jig
Kissing
Luggage
Manager
Numb
Obscene
Puke
Quarrelsome
Rant
Shooting Star
Torture
Undress
Varied
Wild-Goose Chase
Xantippe
Yelping
Zany

And, as an added bonus, I offer you a list of some of my favorite Shakespearean insults. These are infinitely more creative (and more cutting) than the base vocabulary we have today.

"Let's meet as little as we can."
"More of your conversation would infect my brain."
"Thou damned and luxurious mountain goat."
"Away, you three-inch fool."
"Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon!"
"Thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows."

And now I bid you adieu. "Fair thoughts and happy hours attend on you."

Tough Lesson

2009-04-17T14:43:00.000-07:00

I've discovered that one of the worst things about being a teacher (and I may be biased, but I think it's worse when you teach older kids) is watching students you've come to know and love make bad decisions and knowing that, no matter how hard you try, you can't do anything to stop them.

It's a good thing I believe in the power of prayer.

Shopping Extravaganza

2009-04-11T21:05:00.000-07:00

A dear friend invited me to go outlet shopping with her on Friday "for a couple of hours." Little did I know that "a couple of hours" would more than double by the time we were through. To those of you well-versed in the way of the outlet mall, this probably seems like no big deal, but I am not a shopper. I'm cheap, I don't like crowds, and I especially don't like fitting rooms. However, this might have been the most enjoyable shopping experience I've had in a long time.

2 purses, 1 pair of jeans, 1 skirt, 1 pair of capris, 1 scarf, 3 tops, 1 pair of earrings, and a newfound fashion sense later, I feel like a new woman! And I got some quality time with a pretty fabulous friend, so that was just icing on the cake.

And now, because confession is good for the soul...

After I had done all the damage I felt I should be allowed yesterday, I did let a couple of other awesome ladies "force" me into a little shoe-shopping action this morning. I have 3 pairs of new shoes (and hopefully I won't be chastised too severely for the third pair--I haven't confessed them to LL yet), but I promise I will give some other shoes away to compensate.

My Life in Pictures

2009-04-03T16:17:00.001-07:00

I came across this idea while Facebook-stalking a friend. Here are the directions:

Create a mosaic of your life with 12 photos.

DIRECTIONS:
- Go to Google image search.
- Type in your answer to each question.
- Choose/click a picture from the first 3 images.
- Click "See full image"
- Copy the URL of the photo
- Use this website (http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php) to make your collage.
- Paste the copied photo into each line.
- Save the image for use in this note.

QUESTIONS:
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What is your hometown?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. What is your favorite movie?
6. What is your favorite drink?
7. What is your dream vacation?
8. What is your favorite dessert?
9. What is one word to describe yourself?
10. How are you feeling right now?
11. What do you love most in the world?
12. What do you want to be when you grow up?

(I did cheat a little to find the pictures I wanted--and because there are apparently a lot of girls with, um, questionable morals who share my name--but it's my blog, darn it!)

(Click on the mosaic to get a better look.)

We're off!

2009-03-15T05:17:00.000-07:00

I have been meaning to post a blog about our trip all week, but time got away from me, and now I am leaving for the airport in just under two hours. I, along with nine others, will be in Q-ba for the next week working with a camp that trains the student leaders for a bigger youth camp in the summer. God has already revealed Himself in incredible ways in the preparation for this trip and has taught me just how limited my view of Him can sometimes be.

Some unexpected obstacles have arisen over the last few days, and we covet your prayers. Although right now we are not entirely sure what our purpose will be once we get there, we know God has called us to go, so we are going and trusting that He is bigger than any distractions we have here and that He is certainly bigger than any government.

I know I will have amazing stories of God's faithfulness when I return, and I can't wait to be able to share them with you.

Allegory

2009-03-06T12:09:00.000-08:00

This is a topic I've been meaning to blog about since the day I started 3M (1 month blog-iversary is coming up!), but I just haven't had the time or energy to delve into it. And clearly, my conference period at the end of the day at the end of a long week is the best time to address it. :P

I took a day off work a few weeks ago--not for any particular reason but just because I had been running myself ragged, and I wanted a little bit of a break. Now, those of you who have known me for any measure of time know that I am not what I like to call "organized" (stop laughing, Amanda Michelle!), so I decided that I would spend the majority of my day off trying to get some cleaning done around my apartment. Usually, "cleaning" for me means taking the majority of the junk that has accumulated in my living area, relocating it to my bedroom or closet, and firmly shutting each of those doors (oh, and scrubbing the toilet and the bathroom sink) because after all, there's no need for people to see what's behind the closed doors. This time, however, was different. As I stood surveying the pit that I had allowed my apartment to become, I decided that I needed to tackle the bedroom.

As I began sorting through the mounds and mounds of laundry that had accumulated on my bedroom floor, I began to notice a spiritual parallel (and because you are so smart, darling readers, I'm sure you're already there). I realized that I so often approach my walk with Christ in the same way that I approach cleaning my apartment. I work hard to make the areas that people see presentable, but I never bother to address the inner areas that are behind closed doors. So often, I feel that many of the things I do that would fall under the heading of being a "good Christian girl," I do because I am seeking the recognition of man rather than doing them as an outpouring of the Holy Spirit living in me.

My prayer is that I would truly seek God's heart in everything that I do. I also pray that He would surround me with people who would keep me accountable and who would force me to do a heart check to ensure that I truly am living to glorify God and not myself.

One More

2009-03-03T20:33:00.000-08:00

I just discovered a grammar error in a previous post, and I'm trying to decide if fixing it is a pride issue or not.

Pride or not, I think I have to fix it.

Random Thoughts

2009-03-03T20:12:00.000-08:00

I'm so glad English TAKS is over! At least the kids followed the rules...

It's a bad idea to try and open a box of crackers while driving home from the grocery store. I think I will be finding remnants of that mistake in my car for a while.

Amy's brand frozen cheese enchiladas make me ridiculously happy.

I've imposed upon myself a weeknight 10:00 Facebook curfew. I'm hoping more sleep will be a side effect of said curfew.

I got home from small group after 10:00 tonight.

I've kind of got the shakes.

I LOVE my fellow heiresses!

God is showing me a lot of ugliness in myself--not pretty! (This may be explored further in another blog post.)

The Countdown to 30 is not off to a great start, but hope springs eternal. (More about this one later, too.)

Megan's a mommy (again)!! Welcome to the world, Ben!

I got to talk to the BFF today--stupid 9 hours that separate us!

I need to go to bed, and listing more random thoughts won't help me achieve that goal. Good night!

I urge you...

2009-02-25T20:38:00.001-08:00

...to rally behind me in my cause to get Carmen to wear the world's most awesome pantsuit to '80s Prom.

(I've been forbidden to post pictures, but take my word for it--this is a very noble cause!)

Demotivators

2009-02-25T20:22:00.001-08:00

Because my brain is lacking in creativity and energy tonight, I give you a few anti-motivational posters to ponder.

Yeah, this about sums up the whole 3M experience.

I've often felt that I exist solely to make others feel better about themselves.

This one just made me laugh out loud.

Wake-Up Call

2009-02-23T19:44:00.000-08:00

Does anyone else feel the need to look just a little better on Mondays? I figure that Mondays are generally pretty rough, so it helps my mindset a little if I feel pretty. I even had my hair straight today which generally only happens once or maybe twice during the work week.

I realized today, though, that I might want to start putting a little more effort into my appearance at work. While I received several compliments from my students, I also had those that walked in and did a double take when they saw me with the straight hair because they thought that they had a sub. When it gets to the point that people can't recognize me because I look nice, there might be a problem.

Now, if only people that won't get me arrested if I decided to date them would think I looked hot...

My Alter Ego

2009-02-21T23:56:00.000-08:00

I'm sure no one else has this problem, but work does not always bring out the best in me. For quite some time now, I've been praying that God would stop me from, as AJ says, "letting my ugly hang out."

I was discussing this inner ugly person with one of my classes the other day and explained to them that I don't like this person any more than they do, and I would really appreciate it if they would not do things to encourage her to come out. Then, they decided that my evil alter ego needed a name, and thus, Ursula was born.

Hopefully, we won't see much of Ursula.

P.S. Another student suggested Shrek, and while I don't particularly want to be an ogre, I did very quickly identify which student in that class would play the role of Donkey to my Shrek.

A Shout-Out...

2009-02-17T20:49:00.001-08:00

...to my friend Elaine for perhaps the best Valentine's Day card ever.

This is what I had waiting for me in my mailbox today:

And by tomorrow, I clearly meant...

2009-02-16T11:41:00.000-08:00

...two days later. :) Since fun things happened yesterday, too, I'm going to make this a special whole weekend edition of "Things I Loved."

For your edification:
1. making a man-pile with Tricia
2. fun with friends, both old and new, at MTC
3. catching up with Shelley
4. wearing a tiara while I cleaned my apartment
5. being served a fabulous Valentine's dinner by even more fabulous guys
6. sitting at the "fun table" at said dinner
7. a lovely serenade followed by Tim's beautiful poem and a gorgeous rose
8. fun with conversation hearts
9. Way to go, 20 Cent, Para-dig 'em, and Paradigm 3!!!
10. Erin's Paradigm fight song (with a special, super secret ending)
11. cooking a meal (albeit a quick, easy one) for the first time since Christmas
12. Elizabeth chastising my dog for growling because "[he doesn't] get a period"

This concludes my "Things I Loved" list. However, since I don't have many more ideas for blog topics, I may revisit this one.

Much love today...

2009-02-15T00:05:00.000-08:00

...but I am way too tired to blog about it tonight. I'll fill you in tomorrow. :)

P.S.

2009-02-13T21:19:00.000-08:00

I only had one student tell me that I needed a man today, and he's not a student whose opinion I...shall we say...seek out, so I wasn't all that concerned.

Round Three

2009-02-13T20:23:00.000-08:00

Today has been a little harder, but never fear, dear readers (all 5 of you)--there was love today. :)

I present to you:
1. a night's sleep that was not interrupted by a dog needing to go outside
2. a morning without an annoying Christina Aguilera song in my head
3. a pretty good curly hair day
4. an awesome 1st period class--I can have fun with them without losing control
5. the second day in a row of receiving an orange at lunch from someone who said "it had [my] name on it" (The sticker on yesterday's orange said "Sweet Cutie;" today's said "Kiss a Cutie.")
6. unexpected Valentine's gifts from students
7. giving myself the freedom to have some down time
8. Barefoot wine (3 varieties)
9. Sam's spinach-y puff pastry yumminess
10. good hang-out time with fabulous work friends

Tune in tomorrow for one more day of love.

Things I Love, Part the Second

2009-02-12T21:47:00.000-08:00

Today had a few low points, but fortunately there are many things I loved about today, so they definitely canceled the bad.

Thursday love:
1. a belated (but very much appreciated) birthday card from Kelly
2. the best coffee name ever: Lunch with Elvis (It's peanut butter and banana flavored!)
(actually, #s 1 and 2 are things I forgot to add to my Wednesday list)
3. a very timely, encouraging e-mail from my dear friend AJ
4. the prompt delivery of my Girl Scout cookies this morning
5. the conversation that stemmed from my Facebook status about said Girl Scout cookies
6. student randomosity: "The Cracker Song" and "You need to make her eat the book."
7. developing a slight crush on two guys
8. a new word to add to my vocabulary: "hairgasmic"
9. the massive simultaneous break-up at Koinonia
10. friends with whom I can be silly but who also encourage me in my walk with Christ

I can't wait to see what Friday the 13th will bring.

Fighting Against (my) Nature

2009-02-11T19:38:00.000-08:00

It is no secret that I am not a big fan of Valentine's Day, and yes, some of it does stem from all of the typical reasons a single gal would not like this particular holiday, but the thing that moves the general indifference or even dislike to outright loathing is the fact that my school district does not give us Valentine's Day (or if it happens to fall on a weekend, the day closest to it) off from work. Why would I want Valentine's Day off, you ask? Let me give you a general scenario of what I have had to deal with 3-4 times a day every Valentine's Day that I have been a teacher.

(Imagine a room in which half the desks are covered with candy wrappers from the massive amounts of sugar these 15-year-olds have just ingested.)
Me: Raul and/or Rowena*, could you please stop hanging from the ceiling and sit down?
R and/or R: Doo-de-doo...I love love, and I love loving love...
Me: R and/or R, quit climbing the walls and sit down before I rip off your arms and beat you with them!
R and/or R: Miss, you're just jealous because you don't have anyone. If you had a man, you wouldn't be getting this attitude with us.

Oh, to be so young and yet so wise...

*Names have been changed to protect the obnoxious.

But, believe it or not, this general rant is not the point of this blog post. In an effort to combat the rise in blood pressure that is sure to accompany my efforts in teaching on Friday (and because I need blog topics), I am going to embrace the spirit of the season and each day through Saturday make a list of the things I have loved about that day.

Things I Have Loved Today:
1. surprise Valentine's presents from two of my work friends
2. students that make me laugh
3. a visit from an "awkward genius" (her words, not mine) former student
4. cheap wine and lots of laughter with Sam and Kim (aka "Muffie")
5. a lovely pre-Valentine's Day dinner with some fabulous girlfriends
6. the amazing Carmen
7. Walking Wednesday with LJ

Stay tuned...

Ummm....what?

2009-02-10T13:23:00.000-08:00

Here's a word of advice for all of you: if you are going to compare yourself to a literary character, please be familiar with the character to which you are alluding.

I was in a discipline committee meeting (I have no idea why I'm on this committee--I'm not the world's greatest disciplinarian...) yesterday, and our chairwoman was talking about how when the tardy bell rings, there are no kids on her hallway because they're all afraid of her.

Now, goodness knows I would love to inspire more fear in some of the students--I think it would make my life considerably easier. However, I hope that should I ever achieve this goal, I would have the sense to not describe myself as having an Oedipus Complex as this teacher did.

Obviously, she is the wrong gender to have this complex, and even if that were not an issue, I would hope that her ability to intimidate students would not make her want to kill her father and have sex with her mother.

My Inaugural Blog

2009-02-10T13:08:00.000-08:00

Under my friend Alyssa's "gentle" encouragement, here I am trying out this whole blog thing.

I am a horribly inhibited writer, and as an English teacher, this fact causes me quite a bit of embarrassment, so I decided to give blogging a try as a jumping off place.

I can't promise that I will blog every day, nor can I promise that anything I blog about will interest anyone but me, but, at any rate, I welcome you to join me in my adventures in self-indulgence.